thegoatdacity
A goat voted himself the Greatest Of All Time. He won 1 to 0, counted the ballots himself, and then built a whole hall of fame so nobody could ever forget it.
There was an election. He was the only one who showed up.
The minutes were taken by the goat, approved by the goat and framed in solid gold by the goat. Here is the full record, unedited, because he does not believe in edits.
The nomination
The committee asked for nominees for Greatest Of All Time. He heard his own name before anyone opened the envelope, and honestly he felt the envelope was taking far too long.
The count
Ballots were counted by hand, by hoof and by him. One for, zero against. Someone asked for a recount, so he counted again, and the result was exactly the same, only louder.
The ceremony
He presented the trophy, accepted the trophy and gave a forty-minute speech thanking the trophy. The audience was also the trophy, and it was very moved.
Polls are still open. Technically.
You are welcome to cast your own vote for the Greatest Of All Time. Every ballot is counted fairly, by the goat, in a room with no windows.
The polls opened at dawn. He voted at 4:59, just to be first.
The Hall of Fame. Every exhibit is him.
Admission is free, leaving is discouraged. Please do not touch the exhibits, they have a lot of followers and an even bigger opinion of themselves.
The Podium
I finished first, second and third in a race I organised myself. The other runners were informed afterwards, which I thought was very considerate of me.
The Hug
This trophy was awarded to me, by me, for services to me. Some people say I hold it too tightly. Those people have never been handed something they deserved this much.
The Fan Club
The queue was very long, it just had one sparrow in it. I signed his notebook four times so he would get the full experience. He did not ask for any of them, which is how you know it is love.
The Second Opinion
I asked the mirror for honest feedback. It agreed with everything I said, which is exactly what honest feedback should sound like. We now only meet in public.
The Competition
Someone placed another trophy in my hall without my approval. It is no longer in my hall. It is no longer on the ground either, I checked twice.
Any challengers? Headbutted.
Eight rivals are walking towards the podium, each with an ego of their own. Hold to wind up the headbutt and let go when the power is above their ego and they are standing in the gold zone.
The title is being defended
Press and hold to wind up. The meter swings up and down, so release when it is above the challenger's ego line and he is inside the gold zone.
HALL INCIDENT LOG
- The goat has taken his position on the podium. He has been there since 6 a.m., just in case.
How to buy $goatdacity
The hall does not accept new members, but it does accept holders. The goat considers this a reasonable compromise and has already taken credit for it.
Get a wallet
Install Phantom and keep your seed phrase on paper. Never share it with anyone. Even the goat does not ask for it, and the goat asks for everything.
Add SOL
Buy some SOL and send it to your Phantom wallet. Think of it as a small tribute, the kind he would accept with a nod and no thank-you.
Swap for $goatdacity
Hit Buy and swap your SOL for $goatdacity. Check that the contract matches the one on this page first, because there is only one goat.